2025

I realized tonight I have not written in some time. I guess time gets away from me or I don’t take time to stop and just think. That sounds horrible to say. I think alot. In fact I overthink but mostly on trivial things. Like today… I was showing a lady video to which she replied “Wow he sure has changed”. It kind of stopped me in my tracks. I mean had he changed or just her perception of him changed. I think what she saw was in him the whole time but she just never was privy to it. We indeed choose what we see…

They say there’s three sides to the story. Your side, their side and then the real side. I assure you that I can come home from a dinner and have a different version of what I heard than what someone else did. We can both circle the same pond, but perhaps our views are different. I get so hung up on peoples versions or views that it can completely steal my joy.

I decided my word for 2025 would be present. I’ve said this for years… it’s hard for me to be. I tend to think so far ahead I rarely enjoy the moments I am having. Example… I can go on a vacation but I get nervous before I leave and when I am going to return. I worry so much the night before that I’ve been known to come home early. (I know what a sad vacation partner.) I have gotten some better but it does happen. I will say though, on that vacation, I’ll make a memory out of anything. When I am present and in that moment I’m making one. I love to tell my kids my memories. People say to me a lot of your stories are sad but in those sad ones great country songs were born. Like driving to Texas for the love of a guy. Absolutely the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. Was I supposed to be with him? Absolutely not. Do I regret it…heck no!!! I learned so much about myself. I learned I wasn’t afraid to face rejection or put it on the line. I saw my very first ghost on that trip. I came back changed but in a good way that I can see now. I think some of the things we encounter can either make you or break you.

A few years back I had a moment where this person told me I was not invited to sit at their table. Basically I was not wanted in their world. I was in my 40s and this rocked me to my core. I finally realized I made them way more important than they should’ve been and why was I so eager to sit there. Don’t beg someone to be in their life. People chose you daily. We just don’t see it. Just like earlier how that lady saw that video. I can look at it and see what has been there all this time. It’s not for her to see it. It’s ok. It’s ok if they don’t invite you, love you or let you “metaphorically” sit at their table. You will in fact be ok. Hell.. you’ll thrive. Use it to be better. Do better by others. Leave your mark on people. Make the memories. Be present. Send the messages. Tell the lady in front of you she’s got great shoes or find a funny thing to say to the checkout girl. Make them laugh. Make a memory. It sounds so silly but it’s not. It’s what sustains you. When I look back on my girls life I think back to our memories more then what I bought them at Christmas. When I tell stories about my family it’s never been about the money they spent more about the time we spent.

I love gifts. I’m the first to tell you but I’d much rather go and make a memory any day of the week. Maybe do both. 😜

Just don’t regret what brought you to who you are now. The silly gifts you’ve sent, the crazy things you’ve done or perhaps maybe just learn something from them. I’m gonna still be me at 51. I’m gonna burn the flame bright and keep on…just enjoy those who chose to ride beside you on your journey. Make your memories and be present. I’ll try to get better at this writing it really does make me feel better. Even if one person thinks it’s ok to be who they are or who they have been. It’s enough. Be present my friends and enjoy.