Sleepless in Cartersville

I can’t sleep… this is often where I find myself on nights when I can’t shut off. Obviously I’ve not written one since October. I also know I have a lot of teachers as friends so I find myself praying they’ll read the heart and not see the errors. It’s been a year….

My parents where both diagnosed with cancer between November and December of last year. I’ll be honest, I found myself really bitter for a minute but mom kept saying if you close God out then you miss what he has for you. I’m sure you know she was right. Seeing my parents walk through this has been almost surreal. Never bitter or asking God why… Just believing he was going to show up.

I had a customer actually ask me if I thought my “God” was gonna heal them.. I would say this is probably the only time the “spirit of slap” came over me. Let me be clear. She is free to choose but I’m here to say both my parents got great reports as of today. My dad is doing great with his treatment and we still are not even sure mom will have to receive any. So I am pretty happy with that.

Still I can’t sleep. I worry so much about so many people. Why it rains on the good and bad. I mean we know it does but it sure hurts your heart. I’ve watched my town go through some big hurts in the last months. None a parent or child should have to go through. We scratch our heads and yet we have no answers. I watch my daughters navigate through this world and I wonder have I been enough. How much therapy are they gonna need from this life? Then I see the way they love their lord and I feel like maybe just maybe they’ll be ok. I work with a girl who has lost her mother, basically her father and yet she still sees the beauty in her ashes. She’s 21!!!

I mean I cried seven times last week about my taxes but I’m gonna be ok. This little girl lost her mom and still manages to show up. She is positive and want to be something in this world. We are spoiled as a whole. We live in a world of comparisons and who has what. I can promise you.. you can have the biggest house in the neighborhood and be miserable or treat people unkindly. Money is great. Trust me..but it doesn’t buy happiness. Maybe some great shoes but it’s temporary. I love my clothes and stuff but I’d trade it all to have peace.

I’m just not sure we know how to get there. Back in the days we lived differently. I mean we didn’t hear of school shootings or children dying. We had smoke areas, people had guns in their cars and prayer in school. Teachers still had the right to discipline but our society took that away. BUT…it’s coming back. I know not all is lost. I see it in my chair daily. Kindness. Love. Charity. Forgiveness. Healings. Broken people still being used. I see other things too but the good out ways the bad. Or I’m choosing to see it that way.

Just know not all is lost. Sometimes you can’t make people love you. You can’t be the person who changes everyone’s world but you can be you. That’s enough. Show up!! Listen, cry, laugh,and send the crazy text to tell people you miss them. Tell people how much their absence is noticed. Tell people they are special. As my daddy says… those are words never wasted.

This world may be scary.. but you are enough. Keep loving on those kids, keep showing up for that friend who says she doesn’t need you to. Keep making efforts. The world needs sunshine!! Ok I’m gonna off to dream. ❤️