Words..

I didn’t think I had much left to say after my last blog. Honestly I’ve been in a bit of a holding pattern here lately. Work has had me going none stop and if not there then just keeping busy with life. It’s weird. My night has been a strange one. I got a phone call and it really just took the wind out of my sails. A good friend had passed away. Two actually. One I went to school with and one a family friend who I grew up keeping his kids. Both left me a lot unsettled. I think I decided to write because almost every time I’d write a blog, my family friend would send me a message. He would say “I enjoy reading what you wrote”or “That was very insightful”. I mean he would take time out of his busy life to tell a little hairdresser from Cartersville he liked her blogs. How sweet!!!…Honestly I write basically the same thing every time but he always found words to encourage.

Words…so simple. Yet so powerful. Sometimes your words are worse than your actions. Not always but a lot. Or a lack there of. I am amazed at how people can leave things unfinished. If you know me then you know I’m gonna leave it all on the table. Lord, I’m probably gonna leave too much. It’s okay because I don’t leave anything left to chance. I say it.

TikTok is a funny little app. I love it. In fact I’m in a group text where we send TikToks all day. I mean they are all silly but some are very interesting. I have been known to send some of late😳. The dog one went to everyone I knew. It was hysterical. Then on occasions I’ll send some that are heavy. I mean.. I apologize mostly but I decided I won’t apologize for it. People.. I hope both my friends were able to say what needed to be said in these last few days. I hope there was no stone left unturned. I hope that even if there was, then their people show grace. I know they probably wronged someone along the way and maybe made some bad calls but I also know their family will hear of some good things they never knew their loved ones did. Like I’m sure no one knew how much that meant to me that he would write to me about my silly blogs. Or did she know how every time you saw her she made you smile. I hope they knew their worth. It’s really not measured here anyways. I mean, if you can, fix your grievances.

I have a friend who I was close to. She went through a divorce and we really haven’t talked since. I think about writing her a lot. What’s stopping me? Fear of rejection..perhaps pride…self preservation. None mean a hill of beans if I don’t attempt. I have learned we aren’t responsible for how they respond but more so how we do. Our intent. I recently connected back with a long lost friend who I haven’t talk to in years. Its ridiculous how much we talk now. No ugly, no rehashing, no talking of how much we wish we had sooner. Why? Because we didn’t. Life got in the way but it opened back up and we jumped at it. Eight years and never skipped a beat. Is this normal? Maybe not for you but it works for us. She does say time is a thief but we won’t give him any more to steal.

I hate to have unfinished business. It eats at me. . Sometimes it does for years. I was at church and the pastor said if you have ought with someone write them a letter, ask for forgiveness and send it.(They didn’t say hide and maybe it will go away.) To make closure sometimes is hard. It takes courage. Plus I had some people who had hurt me pretty bad. It’s not like they apologized to me so I didn’t think it warranted a letter. Of course it was on my mind night and day. So I wrote them and said I was letting it go. Don’t you know they were like… dang girl that was 20 years ago..or get a life. (Like who is she sending me this when she’s no saint) For the record.. neither one responded. Not a word. But when I see them out we talk. Like nothing ever happened. I think it makes for a better outcome. Or just less awkward. I did it for me. They may think I’m crazy. I think it’s not on me anymore. I’ve done more then my part.

So what is this blog about. I guess knowing sometimes you won’t get the outcome you want. I still have a few people who I don’t like and don’t like me. It’s life. People will say let things go. Or you’re not a coward if you walk away. Sometimes you just have to?!? Who are these people anyways? That say that. We aren’t for everyone and that’s ok. Maybe that’s true but I personally think that’s when you have to tell them. I may be a lot but I always tell you what I feel. Or I do now. I’ve learned a lot. You be the one who shows up. Make opportunities happen, tell those people that make you smile that they do. Give compliments freely. Call your parents. Send the dumb TikToks. Make up over petty things. Life is short. Regret is long. Don’t take up residence on that street if you can help it. Don’t hide behind pride or what someone thinks is best. Trust your heart. Thank you to my family friend who always sent me messages. Thank you for not holding back. I was changed by your words. Your impact on this world was known. Change someone’s world today. That’s all I got tonight ❤️