Perception versus Perspective

It’s been a minute since I’ve blogged. Sometimes I don’t have anything to say and sometimes I have too much. As I’ve said most times I write when I can’t sleep. Today is that day…

So I was thinking about these two words. Funny they sound so much alike but have totally different definitions. Perception by definition means a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression. My goodness that’s a mouthful and typically when we perceive something about someone or something then that’s why we have this idea we’ve formed. Perception is a tricky thing. I am very quick to do this. I think we all do to a degree. We meet someone and automatically think we know them by our first impression or by what someone has told us. For me, unless I’m doing your hair, I make a terrible first impression. This weekend i was reminded of this. I get terribly awkward in normal situations. Some people think because I’m a “talker” I can relate to everyone and 75% of the time I can but that 25% I royally mess up. Just because you’re not a talker doesn’t always mean you’re aloof or have nothing to say. I have a coworker who fits this narrative that I went with this weekend. She is very shy. She is also very intimidating to most women by her looks. As my dad would say “she’s a looker”… I can say my initial perception was far different than who she really is. She is so generous and giving. She extended generosity at every turn and more compliments than I could imagine. All sincere. Had I never went this weekend, I wouldn’t have known this.. ok I was already aware but perhaps everyone else got to see it too. I think we sometimes miss out on great people or great events because of that pesky word. For me I’d say don’t let a first impression or second for that matter interpret how you view people. I know people say first impressions are the gospel. Those people are also playing “Judge Judy” too well. Lol. Give them a shot. I encounter so many people from so many different walks of life daily. You may have a customer sit in your chair who you think would be one way and she will be the one who shows tremendous grace. I immediately think of my customer Trudy. When I first met her I couldn’t exactly read her. She was a bit closed off but because she was in my chair for two hours I dug in.. now after two years she has shown me grace, compassion and boldness. I have watched her walk through tough situations and she is both fierce and soft at the same time. What if I had only looked at her as just a “color”?( Which I don’t btw) What if I never took a chance to push in and get to know her? I would have missed out on such a great person. People!!! Get to know people. Find out their story, their life. Oh you don’t need anymore friends or that takes too long? Well perhaps you’re missing out on someone who will change the course of your life. I’m just saying don’t be afraid to engage. You don’t have to get best friend charms with everyone you meet but you may just be the difference in their life or vice versa.

Oh you thought I forgot the other word? Maybe you wish I did because this is so long.😉 Perspective.. try saying it 7 times. Bet you can’t. It’s definitely a different definition but ties into the other well. The definition reads a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. So basically your perception is your perspective. Wow another mouthful. We all need perspective in life. Hopefully good and healthy perspectives. I’ll be honest. My perspectives of things have changed a lot over the years on some things and other things never. We are taught a lot as children through parents, teachers, friends and other influences on what our perspective should be. As adults some of those views may change. As for Jesus I was taught early on about him and throughout life, so my point of view on him will never change. Now having perspective, in situations, I’m not the best at. Kind of like worry or overthinking. I’m legendary at this. Give me a situation and I’ll worry or overthink it to death.  You can put your worries into perspective when you realize how many people in the world are so much worse off than you. Also you can make a mountain out of a molehill. (That’s my specialty and I own it) Worrying and overthinking doesn’t change your outcome. It’s just makes your ride to the outcome that much worse. I wish I have not always done this but I have. Even as a child. My oldest girl and her friends found a journal I had written in as a young adult. I had apparently wrote a letter to every person I dated in my 20s that lasted over 3 months.😂 What was the saddest part of the whole story is the perspective and perception I had of myself at 20 is still the same at 45. Not the good perception or perspective either. I used the same line with each letter I wrote. Wow. Talk about insight into your soul. I mean who needs therapy when you see what your problem is. I’m kidding I need lots, I am sure. The whole thing is we are in control of both of these words. We give power to both. Don’t define yourself the way others see you. I wish I could say I didn’t do this. I’ve allowed the way others see me to either be my strength or weakness. Sometimes I have allowed it to dictate the way my day turned out. Bottom line… no amount of kindness, grace, loyalty, gifts, humor or love you share, can change the way someone chooses to perceive you. Sadly though, their perspective of you can be changed just by the way others view you. If they are that easily persuaded, chances are then you don’t need them anyways. If I could tell my younger self one thing it would be that it’s ok to not be accepted by everyone. That you’re not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea. That you don’t have to try so hard. That God will put people in your life that will stay longer than you can imagine. That you’ll have friends who will love you fiercely. Ones who you’ll feel the same way about. To focus on the ones who gave you more than a first impression. Who gave you grace and love without wanting anything. Kind of like Jesus. 🤔 Hey it’s only taken me 45 years and I’m just now getting it. I’d also say give chances. Don’t perceive people based on what others tell you or worse yet what your first impression is. Make room for new people. They may be the very person who changes your whole way of thinking but also keep those people who never waiver either. Both enrich you life. And when you do meet people whose perception or perspective you can’t change, then ride on cowgirl… In the words of Bobbi Brown, “that’s their prerogative“… and that my friend is a word for another day.